Interview: Yedoye Travis Headlines Minority Retort
Yedoye Travis Headlines Minority Retort by D Martin Austin Anyone who knows anything about Portland stand-up knows Minority Retort is the city’s premiere monthly showcase centering on voices of color...
View ArticleThe Party Review
We gathered to watch the rich be awarded. by Mx. Dahlia Belle “I got water in my phone because I dropped it in a toilet, right after the shrooms kicked in.” These are the words of people who refer to...
View ArticleThe Party Review
Cheese, liquor, and butt stuff. by Mx. Dahlia Belle “Queer” makes everything better. So last Sunday I attended a queer picnic in the park. The best part of meeting friends in the park is having no...
View ArticleThe Party Review
I crashed another birthday party. by Mx. Dahlia Belle It was just another lazy Sunday. I woke up around 11, drank a beer, ate a burrito at Taco Bell, and had a few too many cocktails for brunch. After...
View ArticleThe Party Review
You can get some pretty legit tacos in Hillsboro. by Mx. Dahlia Belle I always think of Hillsboro as an extension of Portland, until I go there. Within minutes of arrival at Friday night’s taco party,...
View ArticleThe Party Review
I attended a birthday orgy. by Mx. Dahlia Belle A birthday party at a sex club? Sure. Why not?The prelude to tonight’s event was an invitation from a therapist we’ll call Anne, who I met through a...
View ArticleThe Party Review
The lure of smiling pillows and Polish cinema. by Mx. Dahlia Belle Sure, a mermaid-vampire-goth-glam party might sound ridiculous, but it does the explanation no justice.This weekend’s party centered...
View ArticleThe Party Review
I helped warm a polyamorous home. by Mx. Dahlia Belle With a home this nice, one must wonder if polyamory is only available to the affluent, causes affluence, or if it’s just easier to afford rent if...
View ArticleThe Party Review
A gathering of Portland’s black comics. by Mx. Dahlia Belle Everyone knows Portland is notoriously white. So I couldn’t have been more thrilled to attend a potluck for Portland’s growing community of...
View ArticleThe Party Review
I attended a grilling in St. Johns. by Mx. Dahlia Belle Would I like to attend a grill-out in St. Johns? Yes, and I did. This gathering around a grill was hosted by a couple I had met through the web...
View ArticleThe Party Review
I crashed a family’s pig roast. by Mx. Dahlia Belle After several wrong turns revealing a variety of ways to end up at Forest Park, I arrived at my destination (which was NOT Forest Park). In keeping...
View ArticleThe Party Review
I attended a birthday that was too cool for school. by Mx. Dahlia Belle The first thing one must learn about hipster parties is that it’s much easier to be too early than it is to be too late. I was...
View ArticleThe Party Review
I attended a toddler’s birthday in the park. by Mx. Dahlia Belle I can say with absolute confidence that I can better identify birds by their song than distinguish one three-year-old’s caterwaul from...
View ArticleThe Party Review
I attended a double-Virgo birthday. by Mx. Dahlia Belle This week’s party was a dual birthday celebration at a sex-positive house. Yes, the house itself was sex positive—or so said the...
View ArticleBoujee Bowling
The Mercury throws a mean party. by Mx. Dahlia Belle Every time I submit a column, I expect it to be cause for my immediate termination. This week, I doubled down to review a party thrown by the...
View ArticlePsychic Butt Dance
I attend a children’s Halloween party. by Mx. Dahlia Belle As loyal readers recall, “The Party Review” premiered on Wednesday, December 14, 2016 with the review of a child’s birthday party. (Not so...
View ArticlePost-Reception Reception
Got lost in Laurelhurst and learned about camels. by Mx. Dahlia Belle This weekend, I found myself at a post-wedding reception reception at Laurelhurst Park, accompanied by my child and an elderly...
View ArticleLet’s Play Bunco!
Getting drunk and throwing dice. by Mx. Dahlia Belle Party columns don’t write themselves. So a “Bunco party,” you say? Yes, and I’ll be drunk before I get there.This was one of the most fun parties...
View ArticleKeytars, Gin, and LaCroix: a Portland Love Story
Reunited with an old friend. by Mx. Dahlia Belle Fourteen years ago, I moved to Portland with my spouse, during the Great Wisconsin Migration of 2003, as did a good friend from college—the host of...
View ArticleBagpipes, Tuxes, and Decapitated Swine
Shooting the breeze with Reed College alumni. by Mx. Dahlia Belle Seeing the words “Reed College,” local readers might expect me to comment on its controversies, protests, and scandals. But this is a...
View ArticleThe Mercury Does The Holidays Right
Another high-risk review of my own employer’s party. by Mx. Dahlia Belle It’s never too late for a holiday party, especially if you write for a newspaper, as we define the times and seasons.Here at...
View Article“Are There Bugs On Me? Is That Pâté?”
Stevia is no match for gaiety. by Mx. Dahlia Belle I sometimes forget that #notallparties have a theme or stated purpose. This week’s party was but one shining example. I accompanied a date to the...
View ArticleHoliday Hollandaise
Eggs benedict on an alpaca farm. by Mx. Dahlia Belle Proving it’s never too late to have one last holiday gathering, my housemate and I attended a post-holiday brunch, complete with expertly prepared...
View ArticleMy First Super Bowl
Justin Timberlake convinced me to watch football. by Mx. Dahlia Belle The greatest mystery of our modern age has long been what it would take to convince D Martin Austin to attend a Super Bowl party....
View ArticleA Funky Fresh Birthday
I went roller skating and averted death. by Mx. Dahlia Belle When a friend invited me to their roller skating birthday party, I had no idea I’d been invited to work out harder than I had in years....
View ArticleThe Party Review
I mix gin in honor of Saint Patrick. by Mx. Dahlia Belle Pro tip: In a pinch, two partial bottles of liquor equal one full bottle. Bonus tip: When mixing Bombay and Hendrick’s, pour the Bombay into...
View ArticleThe Party Review
Four enbies, three children, two gay men, one lesbian, and a dorky in a cabin by Mx. Dahlia Belle Who would I be were I to turn down an invitation to a “Queer Mountain Extravaganza?” A very different...
View ArticleThe Party Review: Queer Mountain Extravaganza: Day 2
The party continues at Lost Lake. by Mx. Dahlia Belle As the sun rose on day two of my queer mountain extravaganza, the children were already plotting mass destruction.Exiting my suite, I was greeted...
View ArticleThe Party Review
I attended a vasectomy celebration. by Mx. Dahlia Belle Anyone who truly knows me also knows I wish that 99 percent of people with a vas deferens would get it severed. I had mine severed after the...
View ArticleUno!
In which I attend a stranger’s housewarming. by Mx. Dahlia Belle Being friends of a friend can get you invited to a stranger’s housewarming party where you don’t know anyone—not even from Facebook—and...
View ArticleLaser Tag Birthday
Adult comics play laser tag. by Mx. Dahlia Belle As is my trademark, I arrive half an hour early to the laser tag birthday party I hadn’t anticipated being able to attend, thanks to my recent layoff....
View ArticleTails, Horns, & Horse Cocks
by Mx. Dahlia Belle Though Memorial Day is most commonly associated with picnics, NASCAR, and day drinking, it is traditionally a somber day of remembrance. I have no evidence to support it, but I...
View ArticleAn Introvert’s Guide to Pride
Introverts needn’t feel ashamed during Pride. by Mx. Dahlia Belle It’s once again that colorful and wonderful time of year when every article of clothing features a prominent stripe pattern comprising...
View ArticleThe Party Review
We Forgot the Alamo by Mx. Dahlia Belle I couldn’t be happier to attend a gathering of my game night friends. We’ve met at bars every week to play board games for the past few years, but recently...
View ArticleThe Party Review
I attend a brown and queer gathering. by Mx. Dahlia Belle I can think of very few invitations that are a bigger honor than one to a Black, brown, and queer house party. Having received such an honor,...
View ArticleHappy Birthday, Moose and Squirrel
A collective birthday party. by Mx. Dahlia Belle As luck would have it, five of my comedian cronies share the same birthday month and interests as my kid. So rather than wrestling with our wonky...
View ArticleThe Party Review
My other partner’s birthday picnic. by Mx. Dahlia Belle Some days, there seems to be no limit to how late I can make myself, between make-up, corsets, shoes, and depression sleep. To make matters...
View ArticleThe Party Review
Potlucks bring us together as the nation falls apart. by Mx. Dahlia Belle We can’t deny that we’re living in a nation divided, making it more inviting than ever to isolate ourselves with people just...
View ArticleThe Party Review: Who's up for Spittle Cake?
Gorging myself in the park. by Mx. Dahlia Belle Two things readers should have figured out by now is that I have no sense of direction and my memory for faces and simple instructions isn’t much...
View ArticleHow to Pet Every Dog Without Being a Creep
by Mx. Dahlia Belle We live in a city that boasts 33 dog parks and earns frequent online mentions as the number-one city for dogs, so it’s safe to say the average Portlander feels a special admiration...
View ArticleThe Party Review: A Comical Housewarming
by Mx. Dahlia Belle It should come as little surprise that I frequent gatherings inundated with my fellow social misfits (i.e., comedians). What should come as a surprise is when I attend parties...
View ArticleSilent Socialite Party
by Mx. Dahlia Belle After two years of writing a column about being an introvert who attends random people’s parties, I finally receive it: an invitation to a “Silent Socialite Party” where talking is...
View ArticleThe Party Review: The Year in Review
by Mx. Dahlia Belle Over the past 12 months, I have attended more than 20 parties and written charming reviews of the very best and most memorable. Now, before we sing “Auld Lang Syne,” one question...
View ArticleThe Party Review: Lizard Birthday
by Mx. Dahlia Belle Someone’s birthday is celebrated every day of the year, and it seems I’m determined to celebrate them all. Having been raised a Jehovah’s Witness, birthday celebrations don’t hold...
View ArticleThe Party Review
I attend an unidentified pagan celebration and bond with cats. by Mx. Dahlia Belle Since I abandoned my parent’s religion some 20 years ago, I’ve consistently leveled up in the number of seasonal...
View ArticleBlack & Brown Stripes: Catching Up with Some of Portland’s Most Interesting...
by Mx. Dahlia Belle For members of the LGBTQ+ community, there are numerous reasons to be proud. What follows are a series of discussions with five very different, but equally dynamic members of our...
View ArticleGender? Fuck. (Or, The Future’s On Its Way... Are You Ready?)
Gender is what suits you by Mx. Dahlia Belle Whenever asked to write about gender empowerment, I think, “Easy! I’m a queer, nonbinary womxn. Obviously, I’m the foremost expert on contemporary gender...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Personal Essay: I'm Proud of You
by Mx. Dahlia Belle This article is part of the Mercury's 2020 all-digital Queer Week coverage.Dahlia Belle Image courtesy of author.Traditionally, any decent article written about PRIDE (capitalized...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Language of Pride: Reassessing the Labels We’re Given
by Mx. Dahlia Belle miakievy / Getty ImagesHappy Pride, Portland! This week, the Mercury is running a series of opinion pieces and personal essays from LGBTQ+ Portlanders on the theme Pride 2021:...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Kimber K. Shade and Isaiah Esquire Created Blackout as a Place to Be Queer...
by Mx. Dahlia Belle This year's Juneteenth, June 19, 2022, will be a day of celebration, remembrance, and hopefully change. It is the day our fair city of Portland will simultaneously commemorate the...
View Article
